The life of someone very dear to me ended years ago. I keep wondering about this thing we call life. What is it really? When does it truly end and if it ends, what the hell are we in the first place? WHY can we acknowledge our existence and WHY does it have to matter so damn much?!?!? I can’t help but to feel that there has to be something more after we die. I know I will never know just what that is for sure until after I’ve passed on…. assuming “I” will even continue to exist.
I have no doubt my body will continue on…. well…. my remains…. They will become something else…. breathe life into other lifeforms… the water from my body will return to the earth and replenish the water supply for some other living creature and my ashes or flesh (whichever it may be) will break down and provide fertilizer and nutrients to new life. But what about my spirit? What about my consciousness? Where do these things go? There simply MUST be a flow of energy that even makes my existence possible…. but what becomes of it? Will I even have an identity of my own after passing on? Will there be joy or sorrow and pain when I die? Can I possibly begin to hope that there just might be hope for eternity? What purpose does my life here on Earth really serve? Is it possible to simply… BE? Is life really so simple that we are just here to exist… that nature just flowed in the direction of life and that life became capable of rational thought and awareness? Awareness…. what makes it possible?
Is my friend aware of how much we all miss him now? Can he feel the emotions vibrating from all who loved him where he is now? Vibrations…. is it possible that they are responsible for my awareness? Can they carry memories and self-awareness beyond life as we know it? There have been a few occasions when I felt something wasn’t right when death has occured and this was no exception. Is it really possible we exist because of these same vibrations that seemingly hold the universe together in some sort of scientific harmony? Is it really possible to sense something simply from vibrations resonating around you? Scientifically? Realistically? Hopefully!
Written May 27, 2007