Human Condition

Tears are dropping in my mind
This plastic smile is all you see
Digital images of a love once had
And then you tempt me with eternity

Forgotten moments play again
Reversing all I thought I knew
Expanding and contracting, never ending
A universe alive inside of you

Evolution is born again
It all began with you and him
Evolution is born again

A faded traveler stumbles home
He knows he’s been there once before
All that is familiar is never the same
How many times had he walked through that door?

Timeless mortality ends with a beginning
Recycling memories yet to unfold
A life will end in the instant it began
The cycle completes a story not told

Evolution is born again
It all began with you and him
Evolution is born again

Time to turn the hourglass
The sands are nearing the end
So close to completing destiny
All that was gained must be lost again
Lost again

by Bonny – ©2001 to present


The Test

The TestJust a thought to both believers AND non-believers… don’t you think for a moment that “IF” there was a God… he would only invent “so-called” religions found all over the world as a test to weed out the sheep? Think about it… Everywhere in the world, you will find religion and there are so many different ones and each one is believed as fiercely as the next by its followers. Why are they all so different? Why not just spread the same religion everywhere rather than confuse everyone? What’s the point?

If you have an all-knowing entity that created life. WHY did it create life? Was it lonely? Wouldn’t it want to spend eternity with others that have intellectual abilities, capable of questioning and rationalizing what they are confronted with rather than believing blindly? And WHY would any “good” entity expect its “children” to spend eternity worshiping it? To expect others to worship you, doesn’t that entail a desire for one’s ego to be stroked regularly? Isn’t that what we call vanity? When you find a mate, do you want your mate to spend a lifetime worshiping you? Don’t you want your mate to have a mind to think for his/herself? Why would any all-knowing God want a bunch of followers incapable of examining and questioning what they see because they’re too busy keeping the faith?

More to the point…. what would an “all knowing” God want with a bunch of blind followers that refuse to think for themselves or to question their reality? What purpose would these people serve such an entity of higher power and being? What benefit would a person without the willpower to rationalize and think outside the box be to such a being that knows and has everything already? When looking for a mate in life, do we not seek out those that can equal or near equal us so that we are not left bored and lonely? There are many questions that can be asked along this line of reasoning. “IF” there is a God, I feel certain this entity is looking for a lot more in its followers than simple reasoning.

Perhaps religion is real and maybe it was invented to test us… but perhaps the test actually goes the other way from what believers seem to think and it is a test to weed out those that can think for themselves. As I said… just a thought.

Life, Death & Afterlife…?

The life of someone very dear to me ended years ago. I keep wondering about this thing we call life. What is it really? When does it truly end and if it ends, what the hell are we in the first place? WHY can we acknowledge our existence and WHY does it have to matter so damn much?!?!? I can’t help but to feel that there has to be something more after we die. I know I will never know just what that is for sure until after I’ve passed on…. assuming “I” will even continue to exist.

I have no doubt my body will continue on…. well…. my remains…. They will become something else…. breathe life into other lifeforms… the water from my body will return to the earth and replenish the water supply for some other living creature and my ashes or flesh (whichever it may be) will break down and provide fertilizer and nutrients to new life. But what about my spirit? What about my consciousness? Where do these things go? There simply MUST be a flow of energy that even makes my existence possible…. but what becomes of it? Will I even have an identity of my own after passing on? Will there be joy or sorrow and pain when I die? Can I possibly begin to hope that there just might be hope for eternity? What purpose does my life here on Earth really serve? Is it possible to simply… BE? Is life really so simple that we are just here to exist… that nature just flowed in the direction of life and that life became capable of rational thought and awareness? Awareness…. what makes it possible?

Is my friend aware of how much we all miss him now? Can he feel the emotions vibrating from all who loved him where he is now? Vibrations…. is it possible that they are responsible for my awareness? Can they carry memories and self-awareness beyond life as we know it? There have been a few occasions when I felt something wasn’t right when death has occured and this was no exception. Is it really possible we exist because of these same vibrations that seemingly hold the universe together in some sort of scientific harmony? Is it really possible to sense something simply from vibrations resonating around you? Scientifically? Realistically? Hopefully!

Written May 27, 2007

Law of Attraction

I’ve been doing a little reading on the Law of Attraction and while I find the underlying theory intriguing, I’m not quite sure I find the entire interpretation to be all that convincing. From what I gather, the belief revolves around energy and the ability for one individual to possess control over it in order to achieve particular goals and desires in life. Now wouldn’t that be wonderful if it were that simple but it isn’t. I truly do believe that we all have a certain degree of pull on the energy we share with others in the universe. According to the Law of Attraction, if you believe strong enough and without doubt, you can make all your goals come true… and that it works every time. But there are other people who are also out there striving to meet their own goals and they won’t necessarily allow you to meet your own, especially if it conflicts with theirs, so no amount of positive thinking will feed enough energy to make things work in your favor every time.

To some extent, I really do buy into this Law of Attraction theory… but in a much different way. Energy and matter cannot be created or destroyed… simply reinstates itself as something else or in some other form. It makes sense to me that there is energy everywhere around us. This much is obviously true but no thing can happen from energy alone (i.e.: positive thinking; sending out vibes). Action must also be present. Something must create an action in order to facilitate an avenue for energy to travel and one must possess energy in order to create the action. One thing cannot work without the other. Some people might say thinking and meditating is an action. I think that it definitely helps. Perhaps on a subconsious level, things are affected through this sort of channeling of energy, but again, no thing can occur without an action therefore, I would say this type of channeling has no more effect other than influence… perhaps in its domination of energy dispelled elsewhere even.

That being said, I feel that while we all have a pull on this force of energy that surrounds us, we may not all have the same amount of pull or know how to correctly utilize the energy that is there. In order for us to be able to use energy to help achieve our goals, we must also take into consideration other factors (people) that may be using that energy as well. We may encounter dueling forces, neutral forces or compatible forces… which may also account for the bad and good vibrations we get from people, things, places, etc…. We are a universe based on action and reaction. If we vibrate positive energy to another person (action seemingly present), it is up to them to respond with a vibration of their own and chances are, they will be responding in accordance to the vibration you sent out with a mixture of whatever vibrations were going on within them before you came along. You have the ability to affect another person’s vibrations, therefore possibly swaying outcomes in your favor…. if you send out a vibration that is overwhelming enough to generate a desired response.

I do tend to agree with the Law of Attraction in that we are vibrational beings. The soul or spirit behind the mortal body seems likely nothing more than a vibration of energy. So what happens to these vibrations when our bodies no longer function for us and we die? Without our bodies, what tool do we have to create an action capable of dispersing energy? Does the very essence of our soul then become a part of the force itself…. perhaps with no memory of the past life, no brain cells to process cognitive thought and awareness, and no ability to choose or desire? Will we feel harmony beyond death or will we cease to exist the way we grew so accustomed to existing in human form? I’ve read and been recommended by friends to watch “The Secret” and I fully intend to when I can get the time. Somehow, I doubt it will answer all of my questions or that I will buy into its theory completely.

For me, life isn’t about having everything I want… it’s about being happy, having friends, love and family. It has  been my repetitive experience that nearly anything I’ve truly wanted out of life, I have found ways to get it. I know I emit a lot of energy through my thoughts…. (which is why I feel prayer actually has power) and through positive action and determination, I have made so many of my dreams come true. Hence, it stands to reason that all things start with a thought…. become energy channeled through action to the end goal.

Written May 29, 2007

Soul Searching

I truly believe that there are a multitude of potential soul-mates… people who are deeply entwined with your own life to the point that they are a part of your very existence, even if you’ve never even met that person. There are some people that you can just FEEL the same energy flowing them that you feel within yourself. These are people who are connected to me on a level far deeper than the human flesh and much deeper than romantic interests and blood ties. Within my depth, I can feel a force of energy that keeps me connected to those I am fated to be one with. We seem to resonate toward each other and always manage to find our ways home. Call it delusional, but I feel the ability to emit energy from my body and force it in the world towards its destination simply by wiling it to.

Life exists from Energy and Matter. What happens when a body comprised of both energy and matter learn to control the two elements within? What happens if that person is able to bring the two elements together to create a tool that will provide the means to move beyond our shallow confines and into a deeper understanding and acceptance of the truth we all seek to find, but rarely ever can.

Written June 12, 2007

Returning to Innocence

I’ve often heard people of other faiths, specifically Christians accuse those, like myself, who are non-believers of being evil, condemned to an eternity in hell or influenced by Satan and many variety of other not so nice things. I have to ask myself why someone of any religion that claims to be about love and compassion would even say such things in the first place. Then there are the ones who say people who say things like that aren’t really behaving as their faith should but “God” still loves me anyway…. even though, according to the Bible for example, I’m a sinner and really am going to spend an eternity in hell for not believing. So either way I look at it, I’m a condemned woman.

Now, let’s take a look at some of the history associated with most faiths. How many religions out there can honestly claim their “faithful people” aren’t guilty somewhere down the line of committing outright murders, waging wars, decimating entire villages, cities, countries, committing genocide, literally taking the lives of innocent children and adults…. and for what? Personal gain? Definitely. Greed & Power? Certainly! IN THE NAME OF “GOD”? Undoubtedly! You will find it stated in the very books these religions base their faiths in, however, the excuse will not be so blatant as to admit it was for greed, power or personal gain. There will be many stories of how sinful these cities or places were and how God commanded they be cleansed with no regard for the innocent who are undoubtedly murdered as well. There are stories all throughout history of wars and battles fought in the name of “GOD” and with God’s approval. It doesn’t take a historian to know this either. Just open a book and read about it a little or do a bit of research on the internet even.

Now, with that said, I will move on to the next phase. I will ask you to keep an absolutely open mind and be honest with yourself as you read through this. Imagine for a few minutes that you are a child again with a completely clean slate. Your mind is free of all knowledge of any religion or God-like entity, nobody has ever told you one single thing about it. As a human being, we are all instinctively prone to seek out love and affection as well as offer it in return as we learn very early in life that love, affection and compassion are very fundamental elements to our survival and mental well-being when we associate with others. So, with that said, imagine how it feels to be that innocent child again who grows to love and respect others as it is a socially accepted norm amongst most all people. You become an adult, and your mind is still clear of any sot of religious influence. You know people are born and people die because that’s just a simple fact of life and you experience the joys and heartbreaks that go with life events. It is a part of your instinctual knowledge… not something you are taught by others, but just a part of being human.

Now, with no prior religious influences, a clean slate, and not lacking in the basic nurturing necessities in life, what do you believe about life, death, existence and yourself? Do you feel there is something more? Do you sense something else in the universe besides life and death and existence or is it merely hope that there is something more? With a mind naive of religious influence, how do you explain these things? How do you know the difference between right and wrong? Well we know we learn the difference between right and wrong through social interactions with others and these behaviors are learned by experiencing positive and negative reactions from others based on the things you say and do.

So you’re a good person who feels the need to understand life, death and existence, and you may even feel a greater force at work…. but you just don’t know what that force is. Why? Because nobody has ever given you any information about it. So how you do you define what you’re feeling and how do you know it’s real? This is where religions begin to form and as society organizes itself and others also share their needs to understand the meaning life, death, existence and the feelings. They begin to cultivate a religion based on experiences, events and other things that are meaningful in their lives. Religions become powerful tools for those who want to lead people and are often corrupted for personal gain, power and greed but then there are those who lead with good intentions. Religion can be a very powerful and positive influence just as it can be bad.

There are poeple who claim to have spoken with their respective “God(s)” and many believe they are messengers for “God”. Who knows what influences people to claim these things or if they are legitimate claims or not. Unless we’ve witnessed it ourselves or found proven facts in history, we just simply don’t know.

But back to a mind unaltered by religion. For that brief moment that I’ve asked you to imagine a world that knows nothing of “God”, how did you feel? Perhaps lost? Willing to seek answers? Hopeful? Would you feel as though something were missing or would your life be full and content? If you were raised in a world where religion was never taught, would you honestly choose the faith you believe today? And if you would, ask yourself honestly… WHY? I’m not here to convince anyone they are wrong. If anything, this could very well be a test of faith that you could look back on positively later…. but you simply must be honest with yourself.

To be free of religion, with an open heart, open mind and a life full of love and compassion, you are in a state of innocence. You don’t know any different. Your mind is free and your conscience is clear. Are you happy to be in this state or do you prefer to follow a path already laid out for you such as a faith that condemns you to hell and leads you to feel guilty for believing any other way? A faith that in the very core is responsible for countless deaths and murders? A faith that dictates every aspect of your life and again, makes you feel guilty for enjoying the basic fundamental pleasures in life, yet promises you eternal life if you conform?

With that said, I want you to consider one last thing. If your mind is innocent of these faiths but are good of heart, are you an evil person? Should you be condemned? If there is indeed a God, should you be denied the rewards of eternal life and be cast out amongst those who would do you harm? Of course not! No more so than the innocent children who have undoubtedly died at the hands of religious men and women in the name of “God”. So I ask you this, if you know of these religions yet you choose to be free because you HAVE opened your mind and HAVE cleaned your slate, not by upbringing but by choice, why should that make you any different than one who never knew any different? Because you chose… of course. But because you chose a path that is fresh, new and unpainted? You chose a path to discover on your own, a path of innocence, untainted with the blood and deaths of those before you? You chose a path not based on your upbringing but on rationale and reasoning, relying on the core instincts you were born with? Is that the path of a person unworthy of a just and loving “God”? I will leave it to you to decide… but this is a breakdown of how I rationalize religion and faith and why I choose the path I walk. 🙂

The main point I want to make is that without society influences, you will most likely never adopt any particular faith or religion but will find yourself walking a path of your own, just as I do. Most people who follow a particular religion or faith are people who were raised by that faith. We are in effect a product of our society as well as our upbringing. Many of us never challenge our core values and accept them as the only truth while others look further and see that there truly ARE other walks of life, they begin to question and when you start asking questions, you start getting answers. And through answers, you begin to learn. This is why I ask for you to have an open mind. 🙂

Circle of Life – Vibrations & Prayer

I think outside of the box and look at the world as a whole before I consider the possibility of just one explanation of life. I see that what we believe often tends to stem from what we were raised to believe but that doesn’t necessarily make it right so I strive to find what “is” right. It is a journey I may never complete but one I walk every day.

While my views lean more toward science, I do believe prayer has power and not just for any one religion, but for all religions and every person. All things are made of matter and energy and matter and energy cannot be created or destroyed, simply manifested into something new. It makes logical sense to me that we are capable of harnessing the energy around us through our thoughts and prayers to influence the world around us. We are vibrational beings. Everything we do emits vibrations, therefore, I believe our brainwaves also have the capacity to emit vibrations.

We often hear people say they have a sixth sense about things. I believe this to be true. Some are more in tune to it than others and some are better able to get in touch with the vibrations around us than others. I believe this is where faith comes in handy. It opens a channel for people to manipulate the vibrations and energy around them, giving them the ability and the confidence to influence those vibrations of energy, often through prayers or simply through mental willpower. Without a religious influence or the faith that something is possible through mental effort, most people won’t reach out there and try… therefore, they’re less likely to see results.

In the end, I don’t feel confident we will continue on as the person we know ourselves today. I believe everything recycles and breathes life into the next living creature. Our flesh and matter become food for new life and our energy moves on to provide vibrational energy to the next lifeform(s). Memories are physical, retained in the brain. I don’t know how they could stay attached to the energy that sustains our lifeforms but I can only hope and yes even pray that who I am today will carry on in whatever I become tomorrow.

On the other hand, I can’t help but to believe that somehow, some form of memory does attach itself to energy particles…. there are so many unexplained phenomena that there simply must be a way. Take for instance a vibe someone gets from simply looking at a photograph or a feeling they get when they walk into a house where someone once lived. A person may know nothing about the history of an object a photo or a place but somehow sense the history of it and often even feel what others before them felt. Somewhere, somehow, there must be an explanation. I know this because this has happened to me many times before. Generally, we refer to these feelings as someone’s “intuition”. Some people have very strong intuitions where some are relatively weak. I would gauge mine as being somewhere in the middle probably, certainly nothing remarkable, but enough to know there must be more to it than mere coincidences.

People need explanations to help them feel comfortable with their existence and to help them accept the inevitable day they will pass on. Religions have formed all over the world in various forms providing answers and explanations to a variety of questions and insecurities we as humans are prone to have. It’s true that through the evolution of mankind, there is a prevalent history of Gods and Deities to which we are meant to worship and obey. One can’t help but to wonder WHY this seems to be an ongoing mentality, even in today’s times when no such entity manifests itself in physical form so people call it FAITH and continue to believe anyway. We as a society rely heavily on the words written by men long, long ago and while some may question these words, many continue to live by their every word, taking for granted that it be the one and absolute truth. So many people seem blind to the fact that these books written about various faiths WERE written by humans and so very long ago that we have no real way of proving the validity of most of what is even declared as fact. What is a proven fact is that historical figures have used religion and government to sway the people, control the masses and to attain personal gain.

Religion has been used all too frequently to wage wars, decimate entire cities and countries and worst of all, it has been used to actually JUSTIFY these deaths! It’s very difficult for me to understand how a person of today can read such things and feel good about it and this is amongst many religions worldwide.

We have a multitude of religions all over the world, many stemming from the same roots, some even older than the mainstream religions followed today. They all have a commonality in that there is a strong fundamental belief that there is a God or Goddess or even multiple Gods and Goddesses. People seem to feel the need to believe there is some ultimate deity looking out for us. Why? Of course I see the complexities and beauty in this world, this universe, the intricacies of life and of course I wonder how it all got there but dare I claim to know how or why? Dare I tell others they are right or wrong for choosing to believe something that fills their need for explanations? I can’t. I also cannot follow blindly and put faith in any one religion based on words written long ago. Do they influence how I see the world today? Of course they do! I use any bits of information I collect from various religion to help guide me but I do not become defined by it.

But back to the topic at hand, what I know is that we exist, we evolve, we live and we die. We are born with the natural instinct to love and to feel loved and die with the instinctual desire to believe it’s not the end. As children, we are sponges that absorb everything around us but as children, we are also more likely to in believe fairy-tales. As we grow, our senses develop as do our minds. We begin to think and rationalize and as we understand more about the world we live in, our intuition matures. It’s through our intuition that each person truly lives their life. And as I covered before, intuition is guided by our senses. We rationalize our world by what our senses tell us and by what we learn from others and from personal experiences. Combined, it’s what fuels our beliefs and faiths and what makes us who we are but what will we leave behind when we die? Will there be residual vibrations attached to a photograph or to a particular home we’ve lived that carry memories and feelings for others to sense after we’ve long gone? Will we carry what many to believe our “souls” with us into a new world? What will that world be like? Is it possible we are still a part of that world through vibrational energy but living a small portion of our lives in physical form? So many questions and so many possibilities.

One thing I do feel confident about…. if there IS a God-like entity as so many religions claim there is, surely that god who would create so many beautiful things would embrace its creation’s natural instinct to think and rationalize the world around it as a parent feels pride when his/her child explores and learns about the world it lives in. Surely any truly loving God who would give us the ability to do so many wonderful things on our own would feel pride in our accomplishments as a parent feels pride in their children’s accomplishments. I can’t imagine any creator that would create so many beautiful lifeforms only to give them the opportunity to grow and learn on their own would be so restrictive or vengeful to those who would question who they are, what they are and why they are here as many religions lead you to believe. If there is a God, it would be my belief that these fear tactics would have been initiated by mankind, not by God, as a means to use the “glory” of God and God’s word to control the masses. One must also ask him/herself why such a loving God would give us the ability to think for ourselves and question our reality yet be so vain as to expect his/her creations to put him/her first before all else, even the lives of our very own children. We must ask ourselves…. would we do the same to our own children? When we give our children the space and opportunity to learn, we are giving them the reins to find their own paths. We send our children off to school to learn, to the playground to socialize, we encourage them to use their minds to imagine…. and where does imagination take us???? Everywhere!!! And if there is a god-like creator, somewhere along the line, we began as a part of his/her imagination as all creations do begin with imagination.

I could go on and on but in the end, I think I end up in circles…. why? Because it’s the only way I can rationalize what I know and I am happy to find myself thinking in circles because it indicates to me I must be on the right path for any other path could lead you astray…. but a circle will always lead you back home. A circle is symbolic of so many things we take for granted or embrace… circle of love, circle of friends, circle of family, circle in recycling, circle of LIFE! Even the planet we live on is a round circular shape following a circular path. All things we tend to hold dearest falls within a circle somewhere, even if the path is long and difficult, somewhere along the way, we find ourselves within our circles. 🙂

Questions About Faith

I’m probably going to upset a lot of Christians with this but then I’ve often found that when one questions another’s core foundation, it often leaves them unsettled and upset. But to not question is to lie to one’s self and to deny truth. Having been raised under the Christian faith, I have often wondered many things that have left me little choice but to rebuke the Christian faith entirely.

My biggest and most frustrating question is this…. if the Christian God were so good and so loving, WHY would he be so vain and so cruel that he would condemn his own “children” to an eternity in hell and torment for simply choosing to use the very brains they were born with to decipher the world around them… and finding fault in the very teachings they’re told they should accept. If man is so imperfect as the bible states, then is it not plausible that the word itself is flawed for it was man who wrote it. Not only that, it was written by men long, long ago who were guided by a world so completely different and ancient to the one we live in today and deciphered by man into a version that we English speaking people might be able to understand. Surely much is lost in the translation alone! Yet the good faithful Christians read it, decipher the meanings as they feel they best can and continue teaching it.

But tell me… why is this God so vain and why is he so cruel? How can ANYONE see this sort of God as being a loving and compassionate God? What good, loving God would condone the mass killings and murders that have taken place over the years in the Bible? The crusades, the floods, the stonings and more? Can anyone please explain to me where the love in this is? Does being beaten or killed for choosing incorrectly make you feel loved? How about spending the rest of your life burning in a pit of fire? Is that love? Is that compassion? NO! For that reason alone if for no other, I find fault in Christianity and cannot allow myself to believe that any God so cruel could be real. I would choose a pit of fire over an eternity with “God” if that were the case for I could not find peace in spending my days with a God so cruel.

This doesn’t even approach the other questions that I along with so many other “doubters” have had about this religion. I’ve often wondered how humans managed to evolve if they started with just two people, Adam and Eve. And then when the floods came, again, the human race supposedly started all over again, right? I’ll bet there were lots of brothers and sisters getting it on weren’t there. And they had to be married first too, right? Did the bible not also state that incest was wrong? I found a site that lists several specific cases of incest that I thought would be interesting to include here as well:

Through some of my research, I’ve found some pretty interesting articles that make some very good points. I will include those as well. This first one shows through verses in the bible as Jesus himself reportedly said, that the end of times prediction has long since past over two thousand years ago.

I also found a site that lists several very relavent questions that any seeker should ask and a discussion below also filled with lots of insiteful information. That can be found here:

I could go on and on about why I choose not to believe in Christianity or any other faith as the list is ever-increasingly long but then why waste my life pondering what no one will ever really know during this life anyway? If there is a kind, loving God, then it seems fair to assume he would outline what he wants from us in a very clear, concise way that leaves no room for questions or doubt. The Bible certainly falls short of that for it is riddled with questions, contradictions and questionable content.

However you look at it, I think it’s safe to say that the “Holy Bible” is far from appropriate material for our children to be reading. With all the murders, tortures, rapes, incest, sex and more violence, it certainly ranks up there with some pretty morbid R-rated movies!

It’s pretty obvious to me that this little book so many people vow their faith to is far from being a proper guide to today’s society. Furthermore, Christianity is nowhere near as old as some religions. One thing I know for sure is that no matter where you go, religion of some form or another plays a part in the lives of people everywhere. It has been the catalyst for much war and chaos, hatred and power struggles. It is abused and it is twisted and often used for mankind’s own personal gain. Whatever is real and true is likely right before our eyes but somehow, I doubt many humans will see it.

While there are many other and some even older religions than Christianity, my main focus is on this as it is the one I was raised with and the one I see more of from those around me. If any of us were born in another country where faith is of something else or even another time, our beliefs would vary greatly. We generally follow the belief that is widely held around us…. and those who do not question, do not learn.

Everyday, I see people posting their beliefs or posting quotes that support their beliefs, generally in support of Christianity as most of my religious friends are of this faith. Those of us who believe otherwise often remain silent as to not rock the boat…. but we too have a right to speak our mind.

This post isn’t to offend my religious friends but to share my own personal perspective. As I said, I am in the process of learning, therefore, comments are welcomed, but please be respectful as we all have different and varying beliefs… therefore, we can’t all agree. 🙂